Ekkentricities

Two ears and one mouth

Image via WikipA good deal of stress and miscommunication can occur during the holidays.  Families come together.  Conversations cover topics that should be broached over a series of natural interactions rather than one big kahuna of a "talk."  Feelings are hurt.  Poor impressions are made.  So on and so forth.....

While most television personalities have seriously disappointed my expectations for how useful and entertaining I believe they should be, Dr. Phil, of all people, has really shocked me by how concrete, helpful, and balanced his advice can be.  Dr. Phil. 

Before you scoff at the idea, I do recommend you check out "Family First."  While it focuses on how you can create a great family, it provides practical, and dare I say, *powerful* advice on how to improve your own personal goals, relationships (family, friend, and even work related), and just be a better, smarter, more guided person.

There are a number of topics I hope to cover, but one golden rule was:

"You have 2 ears and 1 mouth." 

The gist was that this should roughly be the ratio in which you listen:talk in important conversations.  A great reminder for us all as we are told to "emote" and "share" more, be the "leader" in our lives and in our relationships, and "influence" people.  Less isn't just more.  There's a rough ratio of what we should be taking in, that should shape how much we learn and connect with others.  Listening may also give us a chance to think through (with care) a truly worthwhile response.

Dr. Phil. 
Not just for Middle America and the Oprah-faithful. 

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Processing at the speed of a human

Image via Wikipedia

There was a time when I could read at the speed of light, browse 3 websites, and produce a cogently written report or email.  I am technically supposed to be getting faster with the increasingly amazing technology services and products that I am privy to.

I am not getting faster.  I am slower.

I think that this is a sign of age and *wisdom* which is hilarious.  I used to think intelligence was a function of processing more, better, faster.  I realize that judgment may not scale evenly to our ability to consume, repackage, and share. 

I am slower, but I find comfort in the adage "slow and steady wins the race."  I append it to "focused and deliberate creates better outcomes."

Now I just need to make sure that my judgment isn't inherently flawed. 

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Does publishing your life online diminish your real-life relationships?

It is a sobering thing when you never get calls from your parents anymore.

Is it a sign of age?  Crumbling relationships?  Is our society just absurdly busy now such that our pre-retirement parents don't care to talk to their adult children?  Is it apathy, even?

After much reflection, questioning of siblings, and comparing notes with my friends, I have found one contributing factor to the increasing dearth of calls from Mom.  

It's Tumblr.

Siblings are viewing our mobile blog on Tumblr.  The narrative it provides sates their curiosity.  Tumblr shows them all the best from our lives.  Some of our worst moments.  

In sum, it's entertaining.  

It has a huge cute factor, as the photo below evinces, of Elsa sporting her ladybug antennae pre-Halloween.

Apparently, it's also a lot more enjoyable and efficient than calling me.  Or even reading my meandering blog.  

Now that my parents get the condensed version of my life, they feel more connected.  Hence, they reach out to me less.  Which leaves me strangely feeling more disconnected to them.  

Is this the dynamic that we are to expect from our ever-increasing "connectedness?"  Are the people who publish, share, and post with the aim of bringing more people into their worlds actually seeing their real relationships diminish?  It's sobering to think that my parents are blithely viewing my mobile blog, content with these photobytes.  However, it leaves me, and alas, my little lovebugs wondering after, and wanting, the impromptu phone calls.

Multimedia addicts...get married and have kids who are more of the same.

Oct 2, 2008

Balance is NOT bunk....even for working moms....

If the economy is bad, there's always gigs on Craigslist.

I would have been offended, were it not so funny....and so I share, at the risk of offending others:

_{NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)}

---

Reply to: gigs-836109998@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-10, 8:20PM PDT

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days. 

Major adult studio. 

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP 

Pay: $2000-3000 

No anal required

• Location: LA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $2000-3000

PostingID: 836109998

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html

A fast browser....please.

After working passionately on Flock, I was delighted to hear about a new web browser that Google is creating called Chrome. Based on Webkit (fast fast fast). I can't wait to delve in more....info leaked via a comic book?" WTH?

When bad things happen to good materials

8 months into living in our Half Moon Bay house, and in some rooms, I feel as though we are renters trying not to do anything to place that isn't "ours."

Our living room, in particular, is a melange of pink, tangerine, faux columns, and kitschy chandeliers. There is no couch. There are, however, many other things. For example, we have an extra dining room table (modern, of course) in the middle of the room, a plastic portable table (leftover from our June party for Elsa), and a mini electric grand piano for the kids. And a white small cabinet.

This room is screaming for some TLC.

I saw, this, and think that this may be directionally a good place for this room. Casual, modern, a touch precious, and welcoming.

Aug 20, 2008

In dark room....non stop ppts.

Jul 23, 2008

Is it inevitable that everyone looks like they are imitating Steve Jobs at keynotes. Zuckerberg is wearing a black shirt and is showing single bullet slides....

Momlog

Elsa, our 13 month old, said her first "real" word today other than the standard "papa, elsa, mama" words....she held up her milk-soaked nightshirt, and said, "shirt."  She was so happy to express herself, and
said it many times.

In the dark of her bedroom, before I put her to bed, I gave her kisses and high fives.

I love her!

Jul 23, 2008

Is it inevitable that everyone looks like they are imitating Steve Jobs at keynotes. Zuckerberg is wearing a black shirt and is showing single bullet slides....

Brazilian nanny network

Some folks have asked me:

"How did you find your nanny?"

"Who watches your children?"

"How do you throw such big parties with 2 kids and a career?"

"How in the hell do you manage to keep a home AND work?"

"How do you have a life?"

The answer is always - the Brazilian Nanny Network.

Yes, there is a network out there. It's not secret, but it often overlooked by dazed and overwhelmed parents who have never been to Brazil, and do not speak Portuguese.

The Brazilian women who I have met have been gentle, warm, strong, loving, and dedicated.

Do I have more stereotypes to throw out there? Yes.

I can say that in my unscientific pool of experiences of maybe 20 Brazilian nannies (current, former, and in action), I have observed that Brazilian nannies have also been conscientious, educated, neat, and energetic.

Last but not least, I really have enjoyed learning more about their cultural perspective on children, playtime, food, and family.

That said, I have yet to really learn much Portuguese from these women, as I have been talking to them in my butchered Spanish. They don't even speak Spanish, but they piece it together better than when I speak English.

It's not perfect, but I am pretty happy with the relationships and help that I have had so far.

Mobile blogging - FINALLY a good way

I finally have an iPhone on 3g.

I also have the awesome new typepad blogging app for iPhone.

Nirvana.

Prepare to see a copious amount of posts with great pics...

the fun house....

Over the 4th of July, I went to a BBQ where the requirement for all guests to be invited was that they bring their 2 children. Most of us where newbie parents of 2....and although I do not mean to be ungrateful, it was a bit lame. Very few of the parents really engaged with the kids at any point, other than to discipline them.

I was there for the adult company, but to not really enjoy the company of so many cute young kids....and to have YOUR kids discover how fun it is for a mixed group of people (by age) to play together - it all seems like the stuff that childhood and parenthood should be made of.

Instead, most of the parents just "managed" their kids, and fed them, and tried to sneak in networking time with other adults (we are in Silicon Valley, and this is an unfortunate by product of our professions).

I finally felt inspired to just jump into the jumpy house with the kids.

It was a bit brutal at first. Many of the other parents were amused (and appreciative) that I was throwing around their little ones, singing group songs with them, and tickling and entertaining for 30 minutes a stretch. I finally organized a "girl only" timeframe for the toddler girls to go in and play around.

Ultimately, I may have scared some of the folks there, but as the party died down, the folks who stayed really started to get into watching the sumo-fest that devolved in there....without me, at this point.

The scary thing for me was that a friend of mine is organizing another (children's) party around a jumpy house activity. I instantly thought of
see more pwn and owned pictures">this jumpy house, and wondered....is the jumpy house the new "TV" which we hope will endlessly amuse our kids? I think that unless we engage with them, for many young ones, it is either a very rough and brief foray into "survival of the fittest," or something that is just plain dull.

discipline: day 2

Geoffrey Jr. had a spectacular disintegration of manners and obedience this week.

The classic tantrums were augmented by food throwing, kicking, and defiant tinkering with people's landscaping and refusal to brush teeth unless wrestled down to the ground like a wild bull (day 4 of no brushing, mind you).

This morning I heard him madly throwing every one of his $20 toy trains against the walls of his toy room. For some reason, he did NOT want them on his train table. I stopped him and had to patiently talk him through picking up the mess and storing his trains in his train bag. This was after a bit of screaming on his side, and some stern and focused discussion from me.

Do you ever feel like you are the one with the most feral child? If so, let me know, because as they say, misery loves company.

That said, he has been improving radically, now that he knows that strict lines are being drawn, and that consequences are not "laughable." That is to say, 5 minute time outs and even restrictions to solitary confinement to his room are now coupled with removal of favorite toys for 48 hours or even indefinitely.

He is starting to be proactive about calming himself down, obeying, and even (dare I say?) sitting down through a meal to eat without throwing food.

It's the little things that make life civilized, and hence, happier.

finally - a shopping blog with style AND substance. like it.

Link: likeWise: the official fashion blog of like.com.

take your dog to work day....great. puppy mills expose.....bad.

saw a sobering vid on how many purebred puppies are being mass produced and inhumanely treated....at "puppy mills."

makes you think twice before plunking down bookoo bucks for a designer puppy.

go adopt, people?!

first day of work

Starting a new job is exciting, and a bit unnerving. After finding your desk, the kitchen, the bathroom, and other various basics, you also realize that you are going to start to get to know some folks and a business very well. Or you hope to do so.

Today is my first day at a blogging platform company, Six Apart. I never would have guessed 1, 2, or 5 years ago that I would be here, when I first heard about the company. Life is so unpredictable.

I'll be doing business development and strategy, mainly for Typepad (which powers my fascinating blog) and also for Vox, etc.

Good news of the day:
Lots of exciting things around the corner for my job and the product.
People I know and like are here (familiar faces are good).
Get to commute in with Fredo.

The bad news of the day:
Parking is more expensive than gas.
Citizen Cake opened a kiosk on the same city block as the office.
Get to commute in with Fredo.

Disorienting:
Cubicles.
Lots of people I don't know.
Client-based email (blach).